Why Inexpressible Joy?

I probably should have written this blog entry first.  Actually, I meant to but sometimes things just don’t go according to plan and that’s ok.  Nonetheless, I want to explain why I’m writing this blog and what it means to me. 

First of all, I write because I like to write.  I find it challenging, yet relaxing.  It helps me process what I’ve been through each day and what it means.  Sometimes I right directly to God, or my friends, or my family or myself, but most of the time I just write to the empty pages of my journal.  My journal never judges my work and is patient when I scratch something out then rewrite it five times.  Often when I write I preserve a memory I would otherwise forget.  I write in letter form, poetry form, story form but most often in the form of scribbles and half-thought-out thoughts that no one would understand but me.  There is nothing special about my writing, I just like writing. 

Secondly, I write because I’ve just moved to a new place, started a new job and a lot of people ask me what I’m doing.  If that’s you, here it is!  For those of you who don’t know me so well, I’ll be studying at the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary in Louisville, Kentucky starting in August.  I think kids are a big deal and so I took a job working at a residential treatment facility for children in crisis.  I’ve only just begun working there and I love the kids already.  In fact, it’s the end of the weekend and I am antsy for tomorrow to get here so I can see them again.   I’ll probably write about the kids a lot as they continually amaze me.  Also, take note that I’ll never write the name of a child or the home on here because I don’t want to risk their safety. 

Thirdly, this blog will allow me to convey prayer requests to all of you at home.  I know the next few years aren’t going to be easy and I love knowing that people are praying.  I also would love to pray for you!  Please send me your prayer requests (email, facebook, mail, whatever) and I’ll pray.  If you want I’ll even put the prayer request on here and we can get everyone praying. 

Lastly, I want to have a visible record of what God is doing in my life.  I know he is going to move in awesome ways i can’t help but share the joy he gives me!  Working with children in crisis is amazing and I want share their victories with you.  They deserve to have someone cheering them on.  I hope that their stories inspire you and teach you.  Not everyone gets to go to Seminary so I want to share my experiences with you! 

The web address of my blog is www.1peter1-8.blogspot.com and the title is Inexpressible Joy and obviously there is a reason for that.  A month or so ago, when I first found out that I was moving to Louisville, I decided that I want to start a blog to chronicle my journey.  I didn’t want it to be my story, but rather a story of what God can do so i began praying that God would give my blog a title that had some sort of meaning.  I wanted something that people could relate to and that could last for years to come.  I wanted to use one of my favorite verses; Hebrews 11, Romans 8:31, John 16:33, Habakkuk 1:5, Isaiah 60:22, but nothing seemed right.  So one day I was sitting in Church when Pastor Aarron was preaching from 1 Peter and my eyes wandered over to 1 Peter 1:6-7, which happens to be another  verse that I like a lot.  While I was thinking about it I realized that I had been completely neglecting verse 8.  Verse 8 in that chapter is just beautiful!  If you don’t have it open, go get a Bible, open to 1 Peter, chapter 1 and read verses 6 through 9.  Now that’s good stuff isn’t it?

Verse 8 points out that we love God even though we don’t see him.  We believe by faith and it’s a beautiful thing.  Matthew, Mark, Luke and John had great faith, but they got to know Jesus.  We get to know Him too, but it’s a little bit harder because we can’t see Him. It’s crazy.  Before becoming a Christian it’s impossible to know God because we don’t believe He exists.  But once we have that faith in God, it’s beautiful.  Because we believe in Him we are filled with Inexpressible and Glorious Joy.  I don’t fully understand what Inexpressible and Glorious Joy is, but I know I want God to show me. 

So if you’re still listening out there, ignore my typos, let me know when I get something wrong,  ask me when something doesn’t make sense, and come with me as I explore what it means to have the Inexpressible Joy that only comes from being saved by grace through faith in our wonderful Heavenly Father.

In The Hands of God

Today I decided to check out the Library here on campus.  I like Libraries and this one is big and full of interesting, new things.  They have shelf after shelf of books, of course, but they also have unique things such as a mummy, a bible belonging to Charles Spurgeon, and archives of old and rare books.  It’s old and very quiet. In fact, about three steps into the library I regretted wearing my old pick flip flops; comfortable, but so loud!  I tried to be quiet but it was useless, everyone heard me coming.

Eventually I made my way up to the third floor, I figured it would be less crowded than the other floors.  As I was browsing the shelves I came across some very interesting photographs hanging on the wall. They stood in suits with beards and funny mustaches; The 1886 faculty of Southern Seminary.  Several buildings on campus are named after them and surely they did great things in their lives. 

Looking at their pictures and thinking about the lives they lead got me thinking about the realities of life.  Southern Seminary is so good and so peaceful.  It is strange to go from this beautiful, peaceful place to the children’s home.  At the home it’s so chaotic, the kids miss behave and life is hard.  I am thankful that I here at Southern at the same time as I am working at the children’s home because there is no way I can forget the realities of our world.  Now don’t get me wrong, the Children’s home is a wonderful place with wonderful children who have been placed in bad situations.  It’s horrible that a place like the home has to exist, but wonderful that they are getting the help that they need.  True beauty, I believe, lies inside each of these kids and with patience and kindness it will show through. 

Every child at the home has been hurt in some way and without intervention, they will likely follow the natural pattern that their lives have taken.  Statistically, 90% of orphans worldwide (or children in state-mandated care as we would say in the United States) will end up as a victim of poverty, prostitution, or human trafficking.  I don’t feel adequate or ready to take on such a challenge, but I have to try.  To me, the number of kids in crisis like this is just not acceptable.  I can’t even stand the thought of it.  Something has to be done.  According to the Orphans Alliance (http://www.christianallianceblog.org/?p=74) there are approximately 145 million orphans in the world.  With some hard work and a lot of help from God I believe that we can help them. 

At the children’s home I have been assigned to work in an apartment with 10 preteen aged boys.  The kids are very cool but I was kind of hoping I would get younger kids since several of them are bigger than me.  But, I prayed that God would put me where I need to be and here I am.  I don’t have a clue how to minister to them but I’m going to try my best.  In times when I can’t handle caring for them, I know that God can.  My simple prayer must always be less of me and more of Him. 

One of my favorite songs is “Your Hands” by JJ Heller.  She sings “When my world is shaking, Heaven stands.  When my heart is breaking, I never leave your hands.”  This beautiful lyric speaks to me in so many ways.  When a kid is ‘acting out’ and I am struggling to keep them safe, God is as steady and as firm as ever.  I can trust Him to give me knowledge and keep us both calm and safe.  Also, He is a firm foundation for the children.  So many people in their lives have rejected them and let them down, but God is still there.  Even if they don’t recognize Him. 

God will also hold me in His hands when my hearting is breaking, and boy is my heart breaking for these kids!  They are so amazing and have been through so much at such a young age.  Can you imagine being unable to answer the question, “Where are you from?” because you’ve lived in so many places that you don’t remember anymore?  Or to have called 15 different women mom by age 8, and be rejected by each of them for one reason or another.  I don’t have a clue how a person, let alone a child, recovers from that, but I do know that they never leave God’s hands, and that through Him, they can be healed.   

The Journey Begins

I’m been at The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary for 3 days now and it’s beginning to feel a little like home.  My things are all in place and I’ve purchased enough food to make it look like I’ll be here a while.  Pictures of my family are now hanging on the walls and I was finally able to coerce that pesky old window open.  I guess I’ve settled in. 

I arrived on Friday, a ball of stress and annoyed at the traffic on the interstate.  I arrived later than I wanted and it was making me nervous.  Yet all too soon I was standing on the steps leading up to the housing office and my new home.  While walking up those steps I realized just how drastically my life was about to change.  I’m not here for a visit, I’m staying.  The journey I am beginning isn’t going to be easy but I feel that it is very important.  Robert Frost wrote in his famous poem, “I took the one (road) less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.”  Someday, I want to be able to look back and say the same. 

It’s amazing to be in a place where everyone is so in love with God.  There are few places like this I’m sure.  And the history!  You can smell it at least 3 blocks before you can see the old brick buildings firmly rooted in place.

When I finally entered my faded old brick building I was given a key, a room number, a mail box number and nothing more.  Now, I’m the kind of person who likes step by step directions, so the complete lack of direction put me in a slight panic.  But what else could I do but keep going?  So I went trekking across the campus green to get an id made.  And thus began my ping pong like afternoon of trying to gain entry into my new home.  (Apparently, dormitory living is high profile, I have to swipe my id card, then scan in with my hand print to get in the front door, then swipe and scan again to get into my hallway, finally, I use my key to unlock my door. Whew! That’s a lot of work!)  I trekked back to my dorm and couldn’t get in because my fingerprint weren’t taken properly, the next time I had to go back because my card just wouldn’t work.  An hour later, I was finally able to get into the building. Halleluiah!  I wandered the halls for a while and finally stopped in front of room 3235, which matched the number on my key.  To my great joy and relief, I found my key worked in that lock.  When I opened the door, to my even greater joy, I found that my room was nice.  It’s nothing special, tile floors, wooden dresser, desk and bed, white walls, but it’s mine.  The best part of all is the view from my window.  I overlook the campus green and can see the library, Norton Hall, the Honeycutt Center and more.  This is a beautiful place and I’m blessed to be here.  Three days later, I’m still here.  I guess I’m home.