The Child We Couldn't Save and the Ones We Can

After a great long weekend in Ohio I came home today to find everything exactly how I left it.  I said hi to a few friends and checked my mail.  Then I unpacked, which doesn’t take very long if your one person living in one small room.  I noticed it was a little rainy outside so I figured I should check the weather.  I was so busy with the Holiday and all that I hadn’t checked the news in days.  And boy was I surprised by what I saw.  I’m sure all know what I am talking about, but in case you been on a news hiatus like me, the Casey Anthony murder trial ended today.  She was found not guilty of murder and everyone in the United States is in an uproar.  No one can believe that someone could get away with murder.  Everyone is crying out for justice for that little girl. 

I didn’t watch any of the trial nor did I read the articles online. I’ve worked with too many neglected and abused children to endure watching a trial like that one.  But none-the-less I’ve heard about the case and am somewhat informed about the details of it.  When I heard the decision I was upset like everyone else.  How could someone get away with murder?  Where is the justice? 

When I was 7, two children from down the road, my childhood friends, where killed in fire.  It was Halloween night, and there are a lot of things that just didn’t seem to make sense.  At the time, I didn’t understand any of what was going on, but now that I’m grown I know that the fire probably wasn’t an accident and someone got away with it.  Where is the justice for my friend?

Like I said, I have a hard time dealing with things where children become victims so I sat and thought about Caylee for a while, I went for a walk and I ate some dinner.  When the time felt right I opened my Bible to see what God might have to say about all of this mess.  These are just a few of my findings.  God loves his children and Caylee is with him tonight.  God is almighty and just; He will judge the guilty and He wants me to worry about myself, not others.  Lastly, I can’t do anything to bring my friends or Caylee back, but I can do something to make sure it doesn’t happen again. 

One of my very favorite illustrations from the Bible is that of the Sparrow.  Matthew 10:29-31 says, “Are not two sparrows sold for a penny?  Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father. And even the very hairs on your head are all numbered.  So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.”  Surely God sees every child that falls.  God knows everything that happened to Caylee and he has taken her to Heaven where she rests safely in the arms of God.  Nothing will ever hurt her again. 

A lot of people want revenge.  I have to admit that I’m not too fond of that mother right now either, but I know that it is not my place to judge.  Jesus died for my sins, your sins, and even Casey Anthony’s sins.  Luke 6:41-42 tells us, “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?  How can you say to your brother, ‘Brother, let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when you fail to see the plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.”  All of us our sinners and in the end the extent of your sin doesn’t matter.  NO SIN, whether it’s lying to your family member, or murder gets into Heaven.  However, one microscopic drop of Jesus’ blood is enough to pay our way.  If God chooses to have grace on Casey Anthony and she chooses to have faith in Jesus Christ, then she can still go to Heaven.  Who am I to judge the system that God has put in place.

Now don’t get me wrong.  I’m not ok with someone getting away with murder and I don’t think I would like Casey Anthony if I met her, but I have to at least try to forgive her because that’s what God has commanded of me (Luke 6:37).  Let’s take a look at 2 Thessalonians 1:6-10.

God is just: He will pay back trouble to those who trouble you 7 and give relief to you who are troubled, and to us as well. This will happen when the Lord Jesus is revealed from heaven in blazing fire with his powerful angels. 8 He will punish those who do not know God and do not obey the gospel of our Lord Jesus. 9 They will be punished with everlasting destruction and shut out from the presence of the Lord and from the glory of his might 10 on the day he comes to be glorified in his holy people and to be marveled at among all those who have believed. This includes you, because you believed our testimony to you. 2 Thessalonians 1:6-10

I feel like everything is summed up in verse 6, God is just.  He gives both blessings and punishments and in His perfect time he will bring justice to Caylee.  When this world as we know it comes to an end God will hand out judgment to all who have sinned against Him.  He will know every detail of every trial and will do a better job judging than the Supreme courts ever could. 

Now let’s look at Jude 14-16.

Enoch, the seventh from Adam, prophesied about them: “See, the Lord is coming with thousands upon thousands of his holy ones 15 to judge everyone, and to convict all of them of all the ungodly acts they have committed in their ungodliness, and of all the defiant words ungodly sinners have spoken against him.”[a] 16 These people are grumblers and faultfinders; they follow their own evil desires; they boast about themselves and flatter others for their own advantage. Jude 14-16.

When God comes he will judge everyone, me and you included. We are not exempt.  So yes, justice now would be nice, but sometimes God wants us to wait.  I don’t know why but we have to trust Him anyway. 
Murders will come to justice and there’s nothing to be done about them now.  But there is something we can do.  Don’t let yourself be deceived into thinking that Caylee was the only child out there who was in danger.  There are many others out there and they are crying out for help.  We must listen to them.  I feel like I have an advantage in some ways because I’ve seen just how cruel the world can be.  When I was in the Philippines I saw children starving on the street.  At the children’s home I work at now there are kids who have been through things that are just unimaginable.  I hate knowing these things, but am glad I do because I can’t forget how much need there is in the world. 
As Christians, I believe God is calling us to be the ones who cannot speak for themselves.  Just look at what He tells us in His Holy Word.

In you the orphan finds mercy.  Hosea 14:3

Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you. James 1:27

Father to the fatherless, defender of widows — this is God, whose dwelling is holy. God places the lonely in families. Psalms 68:5-6

When you are harvesting your crops and forget to bring in a bundle of grain from your field, don’t go back to get it. Leave it for the foreigners, orphans, and widows. Then the LORD your God will bless you in all you do. Deuteronomy 24:19

Learn to do good. Seek justice. Help the oppressed. Defend the cause of orphans. Fight for the rights of widows. Isaiah 1:17

Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves; ensure justice for those being crushed. Yes, speak up for the poor and helpless, and see that they get justice. Proverbs 31:8-9

And anyone who welcomes a little child like this on my behalf is welcoming me. Matthew 18:5

I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me! Matthew 25:40

If you need more proof about God calling us to help others just open your Bible.  It shouldn’t take you long to find something. 

So, we want justice for Caylee, but we aren’t going to get it now.  We can’t change the court’s decision or do anything to make the situation better, but we can take the anger that we feel and make it something useful.  Get involved.  If you suspect a child is being neglected or abused get involved.  Make it your business to help every child that you can.  There are Children’s Homes all across the country full of kids who need a hug or someone to teach them how to play catch.  If you can help in that way do it.  There are thousands of kids who need foster parents who will love them, take them in and love them if you can.  There are children sitting in Sunday School who need their questions answered, teach them.  Human Trafficking has become the 2^nd largest illegal business in the world, making 10 billion dollars a year.  How can you fight this form of modern day slavery.  There is much to be done to remain silent.  If you need help getting started let me know, I’ll do my best to help you. 

Martin Luther King Jr. said’ “Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about the things that matter.”  Life.  To me that’s what matters.

A few places to help you get involved or learn more about getting involved:
http://www.compassion.com/children-and-poverty.htm - Children in poverty
http://www.rescueandrestoreky.org/ -Human trafficking in Kentucky
www.persecusion.com  - Voice of the Martyrs foundation
http://www.centralohiorescueandrestore.org/ - Human trafficking in Ohio
http://childrensrightsportal.org/?gclid=CLy3_cfU66kCFYrJKgodNSLevA –Children’s Rights
www.unicef.org – The United Nations Children’s Fund

Why Inexpressible Joy?

I probably should have written this blog entry first.  Actually, I meant to but sometimes things just don’t go according to plan and that’s ok.  Nonetheless, I want to explain why I’m writing this blog and what it means to me. 

First of all, I write because I like to write.  I find it challenging, yet relaxing.  It helps me process what I’ve been through each day and what it means.  Sometimes I right directly to God, or my friends, or my family or myself, but most of the time I just write to the empty pages of my journal.  My journal never judges my work and is patient when I scratch something out then rewrite it five times.  Often when I write I preserve a memory I would otherwise forget.  I write in letter form, poetry form, story form but most often in the form of scribbles and half-thought-out thoughts that no one would understand but me.  There is nothing special about my writing, I just like writing. 

Secondly, I write because I’ve just moved to a new place, started a new job and a lot of people ask me what I’m doing.  If that’s you, here it is!  For those of you who don’t know me so well, I’ll be studying at the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary in Louisville, Kentucky starting in August.  I think kids are a big deal and so I took a job working at a residential treatment facility for children in crisis.  I’ve only just begun working there and I love the kids already.  In fact, it’s the end of the weekend and I am antsy for tomorrow to get here so I can see them again.   I’ll probably write about the kids a lot as they continually amaze me.  Also, take note that I’ll never write the name of a child or the home on here because I don’t want to risk their safety. 

Thirdly, this blog will allow me to convey prayer requests to all of you at home.  I know the next few years aren’t going to be easy and I love knowing that people are praying.  I also would love to pray for you!  Please send me your prayer requests (email, facebook, mail, whatever) and I’ll pray.  If you want I’ll even put the prayer request on here and we can get everyone praying. 

Lastly, I want to have a visible record of what God is doing in my life.  I know he is going to move in awesome ways i can’t help but share the joy he gives me!  Working with children in crisis is amazing and I want share their victories with you.  They deserve to have someone cheering them on.  I hope that their stories inspire you and teach you.  Not everyone gets to go to Seminary so I want to share my experiences with you! 

The web address of my blog is www.1peter1-8.blogspot.com and the title is Inexpressible Joy and obviously there is a reason for that.  A month or so ago, when I first found out that I was moving to Louisville, I decided that I want to start a blog to chronicle my journey.  I didn’t want it to be my story, but rather a story of what God can do so i began praying that God would give my blog a title that had some sort of meaning.  I wanted something that people could relate to and that could last for years to come.  I wanted to use one of my favorite verses; Hebrews 11, Romans 8:31, John 16:33, Habakkuk 1:5, Isaiah 60:22, but nothing seemed right.  So one day I was sitting in Church when Pastor Aarron was preaching from 1 Peter and my eyes wandered over to 1 Peter 1:6-7, which happens to be another  verse that I like a lot.  While I was thinking about it I realized that I had been completely neglecting verse 8.  Verse 8 in that chapter is just beautiful!  If you don’t have it open, go get a Bible, open to 1 Peter, chapter 1 and read verses 6 through 9.  Now that’s good stuff isn’t it?

Verse 8 points out that we love God even though we don’t see him.  We believe by faith and it’s a beautiful thing.  Matthew, Mark, Luke and John had great faith, but they got to know Jesus.  We get to know Him too, but it’s a little bit harder because we can’t see Him. It’s crazy.  Before becoming a Christian it’s impossible to know God because we don’t believe He exists.  But once we have that faith in God, it’s beautiful.  Because we believe in Him we are filled with Inexpressible and Glorious Joy.  I don’t fully understand what Inexpressible and Glorious Joy is, but I know I want God to show me. 

So if you’re still listening out there, ignore my typos, let me know when I get something wrong,  ask me when something doesn’t make sense, and come with me as I explore what it means to have the Inexpressible Joy that only comes from being saved by grace through faith in our wonderful Heavenly Father.

In The Hands of God

Today I decided to check out the Library here on campus.  I like Libraries and this one is big and full of interesting, new things.  They have shelf after shelf of books, of course, but they also have unique things such as a mummy, a bible belonging to Charles Spurgeon, and archives of old and rare books.  It’s old and very quiet. In fact, about three steps into the library I regretted wearing my old pick flip flops; comfortable, but so loud!  I tried to be quiet but it was useless, everyone heard me coming.

Eventually I made my way up to the third floor, I figured it would be less crowded than the other floors.  As I was browsing the shelves I came across some very interesting photographs hanging on the wall. They stood in suits with beards and funny mustaches; The 1886 faculty of Southern Seminary.  Several buildings on campus are named after them and surely they did great things in their lives. 

Looking at their pictures and thinking about the lives they lead got me thinking about the realities of life.  Southern Seminary is so good and so peaceful.  It is strange to go from this beautiful, peaceful place to the children’s home.  At the home it’s so chaotic, the kids miss behave and life is hard.  I am thankful that I here at Southern at the same time as I am working at the children’s home because there is no way I can forget the realities of our world.  Now don’t get me wrong, the Children’s home is a wonderful place with wonderful children who have been placed in bad situations.  It’s horrible that a place like the home has to exist, but wonderful that they are getting the help that they need.  True beauty, I believe, lies inside each of these kids and with patience and kindness it will show through. 

Every child at the home has been hurt in some way and without intervention, they will likely follow the natural pattern that their lives have taken.  Statistically, 90% of orphans worldwide (or children in state-mandated care as we would say in the United States) will end up as a victim of poverty, prostitution, or human trafficking.  I don’t feel adequate or ready to take on such a challenge, but I have to try.  To me, the number of kids in crisis like this is just not acceptable.  I can’t even stand the thought of it.  Something has to be done.  According to the Orphans Alliance (http://www.christianallianceblog.org/?p=74) there are approximately 145 million orphans in the world.  With some hard work and a lot of help from God I believe that we can help them. 

At the children’s home I have been assigned to work in an apartment with 10 preteen aged boys.  The kids are very cool but I was kind of hoping I would get younger kids since several of them are bigger than me.  But, I prayed that God would put me where I need to be and here I am.  I don’t have a clue how to minister to them but I’m going to try my best.  In times when I can’t handle caring for them, I know that God can.  My simple prayer must always be less of me and more of Him. 

One of my favorite songs is “Your Hands” by JJ Heller.  She sings “When my world is shaking, Heaven stands.  When my heart is breaking, I never leave your hands.”  This beautiful lyric speaks to me in so many ways.  When a kid is ‘acting out’ and I am struggling to keep them safe, God is as steady and as firm as ever.  I can trust Him to give me knowledge and keep us both calm and safe.  Also, He is a firm foundation for the children.  So many people in their lives have rejected them and let them down, but God is still there.  Even if they don’t recognize Him. 

God will also hold me in His hands when my hearting is breaking, and boy is my heart breaking for these kids!  They are so amazing and have been through so much at such a young age.  Can you imagine being unable to answer the question, “Where are you from?” because you’ve lived in so many places that you don’t remember anymore?  Or to have called 15 different women mom by age 8, and be rejected by each of them for one reason or another.  I don’t have a clue how a person, let alone a child, recovers from that, but I do know that they never leave God’s hands, and that through Him, they can be healed.   

The Journey Begins

I’m been at The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary for 3 days now and it’s beginning to feel a little like home.  My things are all in place and I’ve purchased enough food to make it look like I’ll be here a while.  Pictures of my family are now hanging on the walls and I was finally able to coerce that pesky old window open.  I guess I’ve settled in. 

I arrived on Friday, a ball of stress and annoyed at the traffic on the interstate.  I arrived later than I wanted and it was making me nervous.  Yet all too soon I was standing on the steps leading up to the housing office and my new home.  While walking up those steps I realized just how drastically my life was about to change.  I’m not here for a visit, I’m staying.  The journey I am beginning isn’t going to be easy but I feel that it is very important.  Robert Frost wrote in his famous poem, “I took the one (road) less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.”  Someday, I want to be able to look back and say the same. 

It’s amazing to be in a place where everyone is so in love with God.  There are few places like this I’m sure.  And the history!  You can smell it at least 3 blocks before you can see the old brick buildings firmly rooted in place.

When I finally entered my faded old brick building I was given a key, a room number, a mail box number and nothing more.  Now, I’m the kind of person who likes step by step directions, so the complete lack of direction put me in a slight panic.  But what else could I do but keep going?  So I went trekking across the campus green to get an id made.  And thus began my ping pong like afternoon of trying to gain entry into my new home.  (Apparently, dormitory living is high profile, I have to swipe my id card, then scan in with my hand print to get in the front door, then swipe and scan again to get into my hallway, finally, I use my key to unlock my door. Whew! That’s a lot of work!)  I trekked back to my dorm and couldn’t get in because my fingerprint weren’t taken properly, the next time I had to go back because my card just wouldn’t work.  An hour later, I was finally able to get into the building. Halleluiah!  I wandered the halls for a while and finally stopped in front of room 3235, which matched the number on my key.  To my great joy and relief, I found my key worked in that lock.  When I opened the door, to my even greater joy, I found that my room was nice.  It’s nothing special, tile floors, wooden dresser, desk and bed, white walls, but it’s mine.  The best part of all is the view from my window.  I overlook the campus green and can see the library, Norton Hall, the Honeycutt Center and more.  This is a beautiful place and I’m blessed to be here.  Three days later, I’m still here.  I guess I’m home.